Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Magic Fishing Panties Blog Tour


Title: Magic Fishing Panties
Author: Kimberly Dalferes
Publisher: Booktrope



Have you taken to blaming the little people for stealing all the things you can’t find, like the damn Chico’s gift card you are 100% sure you left on the dresser? When you take off your bra, is it as if an airbag has deployed? Have you more than once started a sentence with the phrase “Back when I was in school…”? If you answered yes to any of these questions, welcome to the middle-aged cheap seats.

Magic Fishing Panties is the follow-up to Dalferes’ debut book I Was in Love With a Short Man Once. This collection of humorous tales offers new perspective from the self-proclaimed crazy Southern Irish gal and recent inductee into “Club 50.” Rather than wallow in the self-pity often induced by sagging jaw lines, empty nests, and menopause, the author offers colorful depictions of life in the middle. You will find yourself contemplating:

·       How would you react to being in public during an earthquake? Oh, and you’re naked.
·       The wedding starts in five minutes and your best friend needs to pump her breast milk, but all the bathrooms are occupied. Where should she go to quickly resolve her situation?
·       You are depressed and alone on your 39th birthday. What do you do? Hint: tattoo anyone?

You’ll come to know Kimba as a true gal pal, someone who will gladly lend you her size 11 black boots, favorite red coat, and anything else you might need to rule the world – with the exception of her magic fishing panties. Because letting you borrow those would be a little weird, don’t ya think?



About The Author:


Kimberly “Kimba” Dalferes is a native Floridian, but currently pretends to be a Virginian. She is an accomplished king salmon slayer, estate sale junkie, and sometimes writes books. Her first book, I Was In Love With a Short Man Once, was published in 2011, with a 2nd edition released in 2015 by Booktrope Publishing. Her second book, Magic Fishing Panties, also with Booktrope Publishing, will be released August 2015. Her stories have been featured in diverse publications including Voices from Smith Mountain Lake (an anthology published by the Smith Mountain Arts Council), The Roanoke TimesHippocampus MagazineThe Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, Better After Fifty, Laugh Lines-Finding Your Funny, and Midlife Boulevard. She is also a columnist–her humor column Dock Tale Hour appears regularly in Laker Magazine (an affiliate of Times-World LLC). She recently had a limerick published by the Washington Post and she vehemently believes this is a legit publishing cred.
           
The author happily serves on the Board of Governors for the Virginia Writers Club (VWC). She is a member of the Orangeberry Book Tours Hall of Fame (2012), is a featured writer inThe Authors Show, 50 Great Writers You Should Be Reading (2012)and won gold in the AuthorsDB 2013 Book Cover Contest. She has also been recognized for her nonfiction writing as the winner of the 2014 Golden Nib Award; VWC’s highest honor.

Dalferes divides her time between Fairfax and Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia with husband Greg, Bonz the cat, and occasionally her son Jimmy, when he is home from college. She is also often found hanging out in The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats–her blog. She continues to sing hopelessly off-key and waits patiently for that phone call from George Clooney.


·       Blog – “The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats” - http://kimdalferes.com/blog


Other Books by Kimberly Dalferes:

I Was In Love With a Short Man Once (2011, 2015)
Nekkid Came the Swimmer (contributing author, 2015)
Virginia Writers Club, Inc. Virtual Anthology (2015)
Virginia Writers Club, Inc. Virtual Anthology (2014)
Dock Tale Hour (humor column, Smith Mountain Laker Magazine, since 2014)
Voices from Smith Mountain Lake (Anthology, 2013)

Teaser:

We gals possess one distinctive disadvantage out on the fishing boats. It’s the “head.” For the guys, their need to relieve themselves is accomplished by a quick pit stop over the bow of the boat. For the gals, well, our equipment doesn’t work that way. A woman’s use of the bathroom on a fishing boat is a time-consuming process. I use the term “bathroom” here with a bit of poetic license. Often, the facilities are nothing more than a bucket. You can take as many countermeasures as possible: limit the coffee consumption and definitely go at the lodge before you get on the boat. But, eventually, you gotta go.
HOW TO PEE ON THE SEA
Step 1: The captain clears out the cabin for a little semblance of privacy.
Step 2: Layers of clothing (gloves, hat, scarf, rain slicker) are removed.
Step 3: The bibs must be unhooked, but—and this is important—you mustn’t remove them fully because this would entail also removing your boots.
Step 4: Shuffle over to the cubby area under the bow. You’re lucky if there is a cubby area.
Step 5: Back in, derriere first, drop the bib tops you’ve been holding up, unzip and drop your pants, followed by your underwear, and attempt to squat/land upon the toilet/bucket.
Step 6: Pull across the battered blue plastic sheet that is supposed to provide some modicum of cover.
Step 7: Pray the toilet paper is somewhere within reach.
Step 8: Anchor your hands and feet against the sides of the cubby to steady yourself as the boat sways and rocks.
Step 9: Proceed with, well, you know.
Step 10: Attempt to rise, remaining in a somewhat stooped position in order to avoid bumping your head. (I did not forget about the use of the toilet paper; I’m trying to keep this classy.)
Step 11: While remaining hunched over, attempt to pull up your underwear and your pants in the cubby. Damn near impossible.
Step 12: Pull back the blue plastic sheet and while once again attempting to hold up your pants and bibs, turnaround, bend over, and pull the lever which evacuates the contents of bowl.
Step 13: Turn back around, continue to hold up your bibs, and shuffle back out into the main cabin.
Step 14: Refasten your pants and your bibs, put back on all your clothing—rain gear, hat, gloves, and scarf—and head back out to fishing.

What could possibly go wrong?


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Monday, August 31, 2015

Release Day for Memphis Black by MJ Fields

*** From USA Today Bestselling author MJ Fields***
Memphis Title trans (1)
ebook coverFrom bedroom performances to center stage, Memphis Black’s dreams have come true. Together with his band mates—Finn, River, and Billy B—he takes some time for fun in the sun in Miami while gathering inspiration to finish their first full-length album. Some down time before hitting the road to tour the country, spreading their kind of rock like an STD. Tallia Priest, a preacher’s daughter grew up next door to Madison Black, her polar opposite and very best friend. Tallia has harbored a crush on Madison’s older brother Memphis for a lifetime. A boy like him would never notice a girl like her, yet he did … once. After a tough freshman year of college, Madison invites Tallia to join her in Miami for a much needed break. Madison fails to mention they will be staying with ‘Steel Total Destruction.’ When Tallia arrives, there is no way for a stunned Memphis to miss the transformation of the once awkward, innocent girl next door. Forbidden desires must be hidden, lines cannot be blurred, and no one can ever know. Will the heat in Miami tempt them even further? Will buried secrets destroy lives? Can a broken heart ever be mended? It’s all fun and games until someone gets rocked.
Available on Amazon and will be available everywhere... soon
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Note from the author...STD Warning
 
 

Degrade Release Blitz by TL Smith




 





Title: Degrade
Series: Flawed
Author: T.L. Smith
 
 Release Date: August 31, 2015

Blurb

Zeke

One rule, only one rule women need to follow when they're with me.
Don’t ask for more.
This rule is in place for a reason, you won't get more of what’s not there to give.

Bexley
He is striking, and he's all man. He is also the devil, or so I believe him to be. I gave him my heart, not realizing I was doing so. He likes to break me down, so I'm a shell of the person I once was. He's chipping away at me, bit by bit. Though I’m not as weak as he thinks, and when I can’t handle it anymore, I will come back swinging.







 

Purchase Links

AMAZON TO BE ADDED



Excerpt


I’m an idiot, I know this. I just can’t help myself. When it comes to him, I do as he says, do as he pleases. Even if it’s against everything, I believe in. He has a hold on me, which no other person has ever held. I don’t believe he loves me, but I love him. So that has to count for something? Right? My love is big enough. I believe it can hold onto both of us and wrap us up in a vice grip. See, I did tell you, I’m an idiot.

 




Author Links

TWITTER
INSTAGRAM







Giveaway

Friday, August 28, 2015

Meghan Quinn Interview!!!

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Adam James is a corn-fed, Nebraska raised, piece of man meat with a chiseled body and baby face. He is in desperate need of a paycheck and will do just about anything to get one, including stripping down to his skivvies and lathering up in baby oil. Solo Cohan is a quirky hipster with a strong work ethic,raised by two gay dads who are head over heels in love with Harrison Ford and Star Wars, hence the name, Solo. She works for Teeg Model Management, the same modeling agency that decides to book Adam as their next up and coming model. Sparks ignite between her and Adam the minute her baby oil soaked hand connects with his practically naked body. Even though Solo can't stop thinking about Adam during photo shoots, she quickly and awkwardly, shows Adam her distaste for male models and her inability to engage romantically with them. Adam is captivated by her nerdy talk and peculiar tendencies and sets out to make it his mission to turn the Star Wars loving hipster to the dark side, where mingling with models is widely arousing. cooltext128330404127011
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Interview with Meghan Quinn!!!

Meghan was nice enough to answer a few of our questions. We all know that she is one of favorite authors so there might have been some fan girling going on with Darra and I on this.
 

Standard Book Related Questions--Keep reading for the good stuff!
 
 2 Brains: When did you decide to start writing novels?
Meghan: Back in 2012. I was commuting a lot to work and I started playing scenes over and over in my head and instead of seeing a specialist about the crazy conversations I was having, I started writing them down.
2 Brains: How do you come up with your storylines?
Meghan:  Um, depends. There could be a certain situation that sparks them, or maybe a dream. They usually come from dreams. You should see some of the ideas I come up that are instantly turned down by my beta readers…yikes!
2B: Is writing Comedy Romance difficult? I have heard that it is easier to write an Adult Contemporary book.
MQ: I always have some kind of humor in my books, even if it’s not the main focus. I don’t know if it’s easier to write Adult contemporary, I think it’s up to the author. I recently wrote a Romantic Suspense (Repentance: The Story of Kace Haywood) and it’s a really intense book but while reading through it, I noticed, I couldn’t stay away from the humor, so there are a few tense moments that get diffused by a little fun.
2B: Do you like to write a whole series at once? Or do you take a break between and write a stand alone?
MQ: I take breaks. Not because I like to torture readers but because my mind is running a mile a minute and I can’t focus on one thing for more than one book. I’m constantly changing things up.
2B:Of all of your books, which one was the most fun to write?
MQ: The Virgin Romance Novelist. A lot of real life experience in that book...BTW-On our favorite list!
2B: Are your characters based off of people you have known?
MQ: Maybe little characteristics here and there but no one in particular. I did have a character in The Virgin Romance Novelist who took after my office manager at work and the running joke around the office is that she is in love with the UPS man, so I wrote that in my book. She recently read it and called me over to make it quite clear she didn’t like the UPS man. I about died.
2B: I know it is like choosing your favorite kid, however which character do you most identify with?
MQ: Either Rosie (The Virgin Romance Novelist) or Goldie (Bourbon series). They both have my inner thoughts and unfiltered mouth.
2B: You have many awesome guys in your books. Describe your perfect guy?
MQ: Six feet and I’m not talking about his height.  (My mom is shaking her head right now)
 
A little bit of personal info on Meghan!
 
2B: Favorite book of all time?
MQ:Pippi Longstocking, does that count? 
2B: Favorite celebrity?
MQ: I love Tom Hanks and Jennifer Anniston.
2B: Guilty pleasure?
MQ: Ice cream and reality TV
2B: Favorite music/band you rock out to?

MQ: I like Boyce Avenue, they do a lot of covers and they are always so good. When I was at one of their concerts, I came up with the idea for TOXIC, my rock start book.
 
A little bit of ridiculousness! 
 

2B: Are you a Star Wars fan?
MQ: Of course! I'm not a barbarian.
2B: If so, Han or Luke. Or maybe Princess Leia?
MQ: Han all the way. How could you not fall in love with Harrison Ford back then?
2B: Adam takes “Talk Nerdy to me” to a whole new level. Do you crush on a man that knows his comics?
MQ: Ha, nope. I don't even think I know a guy who reads comics. (FYI-I did, no Nerdy talk)
2B: How long do you think you would last on the job lathering oil on cover models before they would consider it as sexual harassment?  (Personally I believe I would only last a week before I would get a restraining order from Adam).
MQ: A day, I would be humping too many legs.
2B: Which model is next in line for a book?
MQ: My mind is leaning toward Nikko, only because in my head he is Nick Bateman and I want to play around with Nick. 
2B: How did you come up with the idea of Solo working at a Model agency?
MQ: Hmm…I don’t even know. My friend wanted me to write a story about a male model and we kind of brainstormed. I texted her a lot while in the bathroom about it. How awful that that is my memory. Once again, my mom is shaking her head.
2B: You seem to like the down to earth guys. Do you like when the good guy wins over the girl?
MQ: All the time. I like all kinds of scenarios. I was really excited to write about some "nerdy" tendancies that I have. I thought it was a little unique, to acknowledge a quirky fetish. I enjoyed it!
 
Now, let's talk about some inappropriate!
 
2B: Do you believe the word “moist” be taken out of the everyday use and be locked up to be never used again? Objections?
MQ:  You know, I don't mind the word moist. I avoid using it because of the distaste people have for it but I will say moist quite often in conversation to annoy people. Why? Are we talking moist panties?
2B: If you could have one Boob squeeze, who would it be?
MQ: Who would I give one boob squeeze to? Probably Marie Force. I would squeeze that boob, giggle and then run away. (Drive by Boob squeeze? Nice)
 
Yep, we love this interview. So many things that we need to talk more about next time. Here is to hoping Meghan comes to Houston soon so that we can get our boob squeeze in with her!

 
 
 

 
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Born in New York and raised in Southern California, Meghan has grown into a sassy, peanut butter eating, blonde haired swearing, animal hoarding lady. She is known to bust out and dance if “It’s Raining Men” starts beating through the air and heaven forbid you get a margarita in her, protect your legs because they may be humped. Once she started commuting for an hour and twenty minutes every day to work for three years, she began to have conversations play in her head, real life, deep male voices and dainty lady coos kind of conversations. Perturbed and confused, she decided to either see a therapist about the hot and steamy voices running through her head or start writing them down. She decided to go with the cheaper option and started writing… enter her first novel, Caught Looking. Now you can find the spicy, most definitely on the border of lunacy, kind of crazy lady residing in Colorado with the love of her life and her five, furry four legged children, hiking a trail or hiding behind shelves at grocery stores, wondering what kind of lube the nervous stranger will bring home to his wife. Oh and she loves a good boob squeeze! cooltext128330221187949
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CLICK HERE TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT OF MEGHAN QUINN'S NEWEST RELEASE

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